on some nights I could live a lifetime without missing you,
- but this is not one of those nights,
and the emptiness of my bed is screaming your absence so loud I can only think the words
‘does your bed feel as lonely as mine’
Everything is so perfect but I’m just struggling to accept that nothing will go wrong so I appear to have caused problems for myself without intentionally trying to. Why do I always have to do this? I just can’t seem to believe that everything can be ‘great’, it seems impossible. I regularly reject drama from other people and try to surround myself with positivity but then trying to keep yourself happy takes a toll when you really do feel completely out there and lost. I thought I’d grabbed a hold of my emotions and these bad thoughts when I became employed full time again but apparently I just managed to bottle them up again.
The worst part is, I’ve just found someone that I feel completely comfortable around, he cares so much and I love being around him, I haven’t had this feeling in so long and I haven’t fucked this up.
I think I need to take a time out again, like, stop going out all the time, sleep on a regular basis and eat regularly. I can admit life is great, yes, but I think I’m doing it wrong… If there is such a thing. I don’t know.